For the first time we were face to face.
Something I did not tell you is that before I arrived, I went to see another man; someone else from POF. He is someone I met online some time ago; someone who i had planned to get to know better before talking with you. I had to tell him that its a ""no go" and the whole way there before meeting him i was so annoyed because i really just wanted to get over and see you; i should have just called him and told him instead of wasting my time in getting there. And when i met him; he was clearly a wanna be badboy; not the real deal. I can tell the difference cause the wanna be's never know when to turn it off and be themselves, sweetness evades them; but out of you it oozes.
Funnily, I am usually quite nervous about these kinds of first meetings but today I was not nervous at all; simply excited as hell to meet you and I knew it was going to be OK.
Seeing you stand on the deck was a bit of a shock. As I mentioned. you were wayyyyyyy younger looking than i expected and to be honest; not nearly as hard looking as i anticipated. I think that lack of hardness is what shocked me the most. But I knew when you looked at me that you approved and everything was going to be better than OK.
When i came in, you kept asking me if everything was OK, and whether I wanted to leave (or run); and although I know a lot of people would think I am nuts to get involved with you; there is nothing I can do about it; i cant help what I want and the feeling of craving that i have not felt in years is back; you are my crack. Every time my phone rings and I see it is you I get excited; the thought of making love to you again makes my stomach flip and I get drenched instantly. The way you feel inside of me; wow, its like I've never had it before.
I do wonder what is going to happen going forward however. I just don't think you are going to be able to hide this as well as you think you are. Women have an uncanny ability to detect changes in their men and that shit-eating grin on your face along with the little changes in routine will probably make her spider senses tingle; and the thing is, I suspect that on some level, you don't care that much and I don't think you are nearly as happy as you are trying to convince yourself you are.
It's 7PM and I cant wait to hear from you tomorrow. I have so much I want to tell you but knowing me, I probably not say any of it.
xox
